In his debut book, humorist Brian Sack tells of his recent foray into fatherhood and shares the pivotal advice he wants his son, and everyone, to know. With wit and self-deprecating honesty on subjects ranging from relationships to travel, children to careers, sex to growing old, In the Event of My Untimely Demise gets to the heart of what matters most - a delightfully funny life primer for us all.

ON LIFE:

Simply by virtue of being born human, we’ve automatically matriculated into Great Big University—a school with a staggering curriculum and a campus that stretches as far as the eye can see. The problem is, they have the worst admissions policy ever. Absolutely everyone gets in.

ON AMERICAN IDOL AND THE WANTOCRACY:

How a heavily bruised four-hundred-pound girl with a Marlboro tainted larynx can think the world is hankering to hear her forget someone else’s lyrics is beyond me—but not beyond the countless individuals who, like Enorma McCantsing, express shock and dismay to discover in front of thirty-eight million people that screeching and stumbling through a Britney cover has only enriched our lives, not theirs.

ON TRAVEL:

Should the urge hit us to watch naked Brazilians dance on floats, see an Irishman fight and love the same man in a three-minute span, or be kidnapped by Colombian rebels, we can act on a moment’s notice. After only a handful of hours of abuse at the hands of semi-competent airport security and airline personnel, we can arrive in a completely different airport in a completely different country with a completely different culture. Like France, for example, a place where everyone looks forward to settling down with a wife. Preferably yours.